Existing outside of reality
I turned 27 and I’ve never felt more content and confused. My birthday week involved something as simple as two concerts, a birthday dinner or two, a pumpkin patch, and a drunk game of pool. And truth be told I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
For my 26th birthday (the golden one), I didn’t do anything fun or spectacular; I usually have a tendency of underplaying my birthday. I have no real reason why or if I do it would probably take several sessions of therapy to get it out of me, but this year was different. Last year, I set a simple goal— to get to know myself without stepping outside of myself— and “to overcome any fears you (I) may have in expressing yourself (myself), and thus come to a better understanding of who you are (I am) and what you (I) can achieve” (a direct quote from my vision board lol). So this year I really sat in my existence and I experienced so many things.
From love to loss, sadness to appreciation, and grief and revelations, I took things year at my own pace and admired it for what it was. I attended my first concert by myself— hell I attended five concerts in general— I experienced love and loss, and I’ve witness the world change right before my eyes.
“Adulthood is (one of) the most ghetto hoods ever”
For my birthday I felt content but also wrong. For finally being happy and content to celebrate and love myself while genocides rage across the world. I felt helpless because all I could do was post information on a social media account and write letters to politicians who didn’t give a fuck. I felt sick knowing that people were holding their family members in fear of the many atrocities being committed against them.
I want to make this very clear, this part is not about me: this is about the marginalized people in the world who are being murdered, brutalized, and attacked for whatever insane reason their oppressors see fit. I cannot exist without pointing out the lack of humanity that seems to exist today. It doesn’t suit me and it never will. My personal social media account may be private but my voice is public and I will always stand with the side of humanity.
For the last month the world has witnessed the ongoing destruction and chaos in Palestine, we’re just now getting a glimpse of the struggles in the Congo, and little to no coverage on what’s happening in Sudan. There’s so many instance of oppression and violence in the world that I’m sad to say I’m not even aware of all of them.
In America we’re experiencing a recession that is beyond my comprehension, an immigration problem that is being flamed by racism and a devolving country, and the political climate that is so arctic it may as well be the new polar ice caps.
In my 27th year, I’ve been growing as a person but it all feels unreal as time passes. Seeing the world in the state it’s in while still being in the comfort of my home, learning myself, while knowing everything that’s going on and the looming consequences of everything.
Capitalism has made us as a society complicit in our captivity. [x]
